Dorkstar

Last night as I was going to bed. After turning the lights off I quickly lied down on my bed. It was dark but somehow you could still see a bit of what’s inside the room if you focus enough. So I turned to my side and suddenly a girl in white screamed at me. We were face to face and I could somehow see how big her mouth opened when she screamed, how some of her hair covered half of her face, her eyes as black as the night, and her scream which pierced the sleeping night. So I immediately stood up  and ran to the door. I turned on the lights and told her to get the fuck out.

Bitch trying to ruin my sleep.

It’s not insomnia. I just don’t feel like sleeping. It may be because of all these random thoughts, useless thoughts, countless, like maggots feasting on rotten flesh. I’m not sleeping maybe because the thought of not being able to wake up has crossed my mind, or maybe it’s because I know that when I wake up it’s the same as before like nothing has ever happened. Because nothing really happens. Maybe I’ve been sick for quite some time now and I’m not even aware of it. Maybe I do not feel like sleeping because I find myself lingering in the past while I look at myself with self pity or maybe it’s because I’ve thought about the future and once again planned what it is to be and what will eventually come. I am restless. Sleepless. Am I losing what’s left of my sanity or is my mind slipping further away from reality?

Haven’t slept since last night, but if you consider closing your eyes for a couple of hours while you toss and turn in your bed as sleeping then yes, I have slept. I guess.

The sun mocked me as I tried to sleep this morning. I could almost see that dirty smirk on its face. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but I just couldn’t. Thoughts ran through my head. Endless. Senseless thoughts. I gave up and went downstairs to get something to eat. Turned on the monitor and surfed the internet. I got so bored that I decided to sacrifice some of my remaining money so that I could go out and skate.

Skated for a bit then one of my friend bailed a trick. He took a pretty nasty fall. He got up and tried again but then he went down again. So he decided to just sit down and rest. He got bruises on his arm. Then he looked at me and said “Friday the 13th kasi eh.” Then I remembered that it was friday the 13th. Went to do a trick. Everything was going smoothly. I was approaching the ledge at an okay speed. Popped my board and landed it on the ledge but then my front foot went to the nose part of the board which made me do a Nose grind instead of an easy 50:50. I noticed that I was leaning too much that I was picking up speed then I shoot out. I fell down on both my knees and that’s it. I thought everything was okay but then I tried to stand up but my right knee started to hurt. So I walked it off and just sat down. On my way home the pain subsided. I rested on my bed and waited for dinner. 

There was a faint voice calling my name from downstairs. So I stood up and that’s when the pain kicked in again. I couldn’t walk straight because of the pain so I walked like a fucking zombie. It was a challenge since my room’s located on the upper floor of the house. Tried putting ice on it and then I decided to just get some rest. Closed my eyes and I found myself wide awake like the Great eye of Sauron. 

Go to sleep. Sleepy. Go to sleepy.