The psalms will never call me again.

Inipon-ipong Salitang Balbal

Tao po, tao po!
Sikat na ang araw
Wag naman po sanang umulan
Bigyan mo ako nito, bibigyan kita niyan

 Sa lansangan maglaro
Wag ka mabahala tahimik pa ang lahat
Mga dating kwento
Mas may katotohanan kesa salitang balbal

Tulog ng umaga, Gising sa gabi
Nakalimutan na ang init ng araw
Di pinapansin ang ulan
Kapag may nakuha saka magtatakbuhan

May arnibal yung taho
Pero fishball nalang di pa nagmamahal
Mga dating sentimo naging piso
Wala ng magbabago kahit sino ang mahalal

Lazy Too Sleazy

They saw me desperate
I was invited to the mothership
Where everyone wore coats and ties
Expensive coffee, sip by sip

How are you?
Kamusta? Kamusta ka? Putangina ka!
How are you, are you?
Kamusta? Kamusta ka?! Putangina ka!

Feeding on crumbs
Picked up underneath the table
Trying to survive on this alone
Forgotten like a disabled

How are you?
Kamusta? Kamusta? Putangina ka!
How are you, are you?
Kamusta? Kamusta?! Putangina ka!

So mister, mister!
Can you tell me how not to fall apart?
I missed the tone
My bones broke like oh-Oh-OH from a song

Hi

Alone. No distractions. Nothing. Alone, and I didn’t mind at all until I remembered when she stayed for the night here. I had work to do and she was tired. I told her that I needed to do something downstairs, that I’d be back. She made that cute annoyed sound. I kissed her and tried to force my way out of her embrace. I didn’t want to though. So I worked my ass off until I was dead tired and sleepy. When I came back to my room I saw her in bed. Still there. Still sleeping. She looked so beautiful in her sleep. An amazing and wonderful thing to come home to. I embraced her and she took my hand and pulled my arms like a blanket and covered herself. 

Alone. Now, I’m not just alone, but I’m totally alone. I guess, not totally alone. I got Celine Dion singing Alone in my head.

Spot On Bacon

She was right. Everything I’d see in the next few weeks would remind me of her. Everything did. From the moment I went home I saw where we first kissed, her seat at our table, where she usually seats when she’s waiting for me to finish my chores, I even imagined her washing the dishes. 

My room was the worst. I think we had most of our memories there. From the cuddling, to the laughter, the fights, the markings on the wall, even the trash everywhere reminded me of her. There was a piece of her lying around somewhere. 

Last night I tried to feel our last night together in that room. Smoking weed and shit. So I did. I smoked a fat joint then I started floating. I went back. I imagined her lying there and I hugged her. Oh how I wish I could hug her again. I imagined kissing her. I don’t know. It was wrong but it felt like I needed that somehow. 

I tried to pull my self together. Washed off. Cooked, ate, did my chores. Then I saw it, those plastic spoon and fork from a convenience store. Like a ghost haunting me. We didn’t use it when we ate, and I thought I threw that in the trash, but it’s there. Just sitting there. Still a memory. It’s depressing. It’s fucked up. I’m fucked.

A Letter For The Innevitable

I don’t know how to start this because suddenly it’s the end. I don’t want to say anything because every breath I take might take away a memory, our memory to be exact.

I am the unknown and I loved the innevitable.

She and I were very different from each other, but we intertwined intricately perfect together. In a way she loved the attention but hated to admit it. But she’s the kind of girl that could make a room stop breathing for a moment. I hated that, because suddenly she wasn’t exclusively mine anymore. Well, she wasn’t to begin with. But jealousy would take over where love and appreciation used to be. But she’d look at me and her smile would reassure me once more. I felt safe and reassured with her.

She’s a wild child. She’d take her time crossing the street, she wouldn’t mind if she was late, always thinking positively, always telling herself that everything’s still in place. Nothing seemed to shake her. She wasn’t scared of the world until she experienced it first hand. I guess I was thankful for that cab incident that it went like that, just like that and nothing more. Nothing serious but enough to keep her on her toes. She was brave and she was my courage.

It seems like I’m telling you our story instead of saying something about her. I’m not really good with eulogies. I didn’t really thought of making one for someone. It’s really depressing to write about someone in the past tense when all you really want is to take comfort in their presence and be hopeful for the uncertainty of the future. There will be no present after this. This would be the last. I just wish that the texture of her skin, the scent of her breath, the beauty of the world in her eyes, the caress of her voice, the feel of her, the feel of the moments I cherished with her would stay with me until someone else reads me a eulogy.

Farewell, love. You shall be the light that would guide me home. The light at the end of the tunnel. My light, my life, and my love. I will always be amazed by all that you are and shall forever remain yours.

Spectral

I was not the first man on the moon
But I’m the first moron
to ever gravitate along it’s curvature

And I made my home within the stars
Waiting for the rain
Waiting for the pour

The currents push
The tides collide
Someday that would be us

Red to blue, blue to green
Green to green then fade to black
That’s just way too mean

Don’t pull the trigger no, not yet
Black doesn’t suit the room
But white’s too pure

Get a candle
Strike a match
Look for a friend
Throw comets and play catch

Pull the ozone
Then just lay still
Do all of this again tomorrow
You’re losing time to kill

I love you, Dorkstar.

And I love you too.

Brip

Mag-wawalong taon na luma pa rin ang brip ko. Di maipagkakaila na subok na ang pagkabihasa nito. Umulan, umaraw; tag-tuyo’t, tagbasa. Sobrang luma na ay maipagmamalaki ko na na ako ang gumawa nito. Sa sobrang dami na ng naipundar kong oras para sinupin at pagayusin ang pagkakahiwalay ng mga tahi ay masasabi kong akin na nga itong tunay. 

Bakit ko nga ba isinasalaysay ang alamat ko at ng aking tapat na brip? Hindi ko alam. Napakawalang kwentang bagay kung tutuusin. Mas may ibang mas importanteng bagay kesa  sa brip. Pero gayunpaman ay isa na itong importanteng parte na kayang bumago sa mga pinagsama-samang habi ng kasaysayan.

The Righteous Ones

Vain. Conceited. Self-centered. Hypocrite.

I already wrote something too long for you to not read then something shitty happened to the browser. So I’ll cut the crap and make it short. 

I am a hypocrite for writing this but this Righteous Ones, Oh! You’d love them. They think the world revolves around them. As if the world would cease to exist without their oh so charming self. They think everyone wants a piece of them. And they look at everyone else as a piece of meat. Humping from one poor soul to another. They’re never satisfied. And the problem is always with you. Not them. You. Why blame it on them when they’re too perfect? Just ask them.

This kind would go berserk if you brushed the tip of their soft silky hair wrong. Suddenly they’re the victim. They’d go tell everyone like you showed them your penis or something. They’d rally everyone to their cause. But they’d leave the details of them burning your house down or them selling your soul to the devil. They’re good kids. Perfect, angelic, kind souls. You have to tolerate them but they won’t try to understand you. 

They invented the world. And you should bow down to them. Everything is theirs. Even the thoughts that hasn’t escaped your mind yet is theirs. They will steal ideas, mimic your actions, and they will wear your identity as their own. But hey, you’re at fault. Come on, they invented the world. And they created it so that they could feed on the attention. Oh and you have to acknowledge and approve everything they do or else they’d go and tell mommy and daddy and they wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore. So no more candies for you, you mean guy! Hmph!

So why am I writing this? Because I’m a hypocrite with anger issues, and it’s too hot in my room for me to sleep. 

I Hope They Come In Peace

Last night the power went out. The night was enveloped in darkness and you couldn’t see shit. There was nothing to do but sleep. So I slept. Before I could pass over the dream world I heard a loud noise like a flame being blown out except it was as loud as an airplane taking off. It felt like it was next to my ear and it hurt like hell that I even closed my eyes tight and clenched my fist. 

Then everything ached. Mostly my spine but everything else felt pain. I wanted to curl up but I couldn’t. I thought it was a nightmare but I could clench my fist and bite my tongue. After a few moment I heard a loud noise again, this time it sounded like electricity. It was unbearable. And then finally I had time to breathe.

I couldn’t understand what was happening. If it came from outside my dad would’ve waken up. Is it all in my head? I think aliens are coming for us, man, seriously.

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