The psalms will never call me again.

Life Is A Beach: Day 2 (Post Has Expired)

To tell you the truth I can’t remember much of what happened the next day, but I’ll go ahead and try.

Rise And Shine, Ass Swine! We woke up with a terrible headache. It was only 9 in the morning, I think. Our aunts were fucking screaming telling us to get up because we’re going to be late for breakfast. It took us almost an hour to get ready. Most of our relatives, the elders, were coming back from breakfast and we were still trying to get the sleep out of our eyes. Then one of our aunt told us that we shouldn’t have been drinking because we knew that we had to get up in the morning. Then another aunt told her that she disagrees with that and that we were bonding and stuff. The older aunt told the younger aunt that the conversation is over. We all just looked at each other and smiled. Good Morning!

Adventure Time! After breakfast we decided to go to the other side of the beach. So we walked over by the shore and saw some fishes. They were just there minding their own business, so we stopped and we looked and we stared at it for too long and we didn’t know what we were looking at or why we were looking at it. Everything was just peaceful even with those people around us. So we walked a bit more.We saw tons of stuff like sea cucumbers, spiny starfishes, a bright blue fish, and two lost japanese guys. The japanese guys were kayaking and I don’t know what happened to them but they just gave up. Pulled their kayak and started walking. So we walked further. Over the tree branches, over the fences, we reached a rocky part of the beach. It had blood, slippers, broken appliances everywhere. It was as if somebody was murdered or had their period there. There was this rusted frame of a ship. It wasn’t that grand. There wasn’t much to do there. So I climbed a big fat rock and just stood their. The air was blowing nicely and the sun was kissing me. It was warm and it felt great. But we had to go back. The others were looking for us.

The Road Back Home. The trip back to Manila was nice. It was depressing tho. I knew I had to deal with the office. With everything, I was going back to the real world. I didn’t want to but I had to. Fuck this shit.

Thirty-One: Good Riddance

And just like that I was leaving that office again (hopefully for the last time)
I’m leaving my friends, the comrades, the phonies, the memories, and the place
There was a lot of phonies but the parting was sincere
Walking through hell was worth it with the bastards
But I’m off to hybernate

We endured. We survived. We are the bastards.

"We used to be good bacterias in the dirt, the water, in this forsaken earth. Then something bad happened. We evolved. To something so hateful, so destructive, so selfish."

And he told me “just do it kid.” and I just stared at him.

"Well, who was it?" asked my uncle.

"It was… me… or what’s left of my being." I trembled as I told him.

"You can’t kill everything. Cockroaches has survived nuclear explosions. And you’re fucking scared of them."

"We need people. The world needs human beings. Animals can’t tax themselves. They wouldn’t suffer if we weren’t here. They’d be at peace. Then they won’t be living at all."

"There was something in her eyes, it sparkled, and I got scared. So I picked up the spoon on my left and gouged out her eyes. Now’s not the time to go all… tender." 

"Listen, if you choose to be evil, do it in such a way that you don’t have to hurt someone or destroy something beautiful."

Hephaestus And Aphrodite

You see, love, when we’re safe and sound underneath the blankets and sheets we’re invincible like no one can ever break us. Nothing can come between us. Like nothing can ever come between us. We only have ourselves having an intimate orgy with the bed and the pillows, with the walls as witnesses to the breaths we exchange and words we carefully lay on each others lips. We are alone. We are invincible. We are our own Gods during those nights we spend with each other.

Morning comes and you still look beautiful, with the sunlight blanketing your body. Oh how I wish it would still be night time. The sun greets us as if mocking us that we are indeed mere mortals. That all of this has to end soon enough. We are not Gods. We are cursed. The morning hates us. We try to cling on to the remaining moments before we have to face the world once more. A world that has too many faces. Too many fuckheads and not enough hurt to kill them. Waves after waves of ugly faces trying to break us. Trying to steal one of us from the other. Poisoning each other’s mind with paranoia and anger. With jealousy and mistrust. We are challenged. We are given dull blades and sharp tongues, either to use on the creeps around us or against each other. We are faced with these challenges, we accidentally break each others hearts with hands intact.

We hold on to each other as we wait for another night. As we lay in each other’s invulnerability. As we wait for that moment when our night finally becomes eternal.

And there’s too much pain to bear, and the people I want to talk to are miles away. And i’m not sure if I do want to tell them about how much it’s eating me alive. And I try to repress and numb everything down. I try to control the tears, but gravity’s pulling it down. It’s hurting too much  because I can’t talk to anyone about it, but I hope that if I wrote it down it would help ease even just a bit.